In honor of my Mother

I can not even begin to say how much I still miss my mother. She died March 12, 2010 and my heart still aches everyday for her voice, touch and or just knowing I could pick up the phone and call her. I am a grown woman in her 30's and self sufficient; this thanks to my mother. Who showed me by example to always be self sufficient and independent. She taught me how to cook, clean and seek out the knowledge to do things I might not know how to. I miss her voice and her knowledge and advice. As a teen I fought with her and challenged her I guess most teens do that. I expect one days my kids will do that to me. Through it all I still had this undying respect and admiration for my Mother. She taught me unconditional love because through anything I could always go to my mother and tell her anything. I am who I am because of her and what she has taught me she loved her five girls more than life itself and she lived and breathed for her girls. This is how I live for my kids now because she taught me this. She would rather buy us new clothes than buy herself anything and often times she went without. My mom did not care just as long as her girls were happy and content. The memories never end and she continues to live in my heart. I moved back to Florida from New Jersey because I missed my mother so much and less then 8 months after coming back I lost her. I thank God for the time I got to spend with her and the time my kids to to spend with her. This Mother's Day I will remember my mother with honor and love------ She will always be missed....always

Love you Mom

Your Always Faithful Daughter

Lucy

Weekend Fun but then......

Well, I had a great weekend or so I thought. Saturday started early I went with a friend to help her out with a scrapbook sale at my favorite local scrapbook store Scraporium(see their blog). It was loads of fun and all girl time. Needed that so much to take my mind off all the family stuff that has been going on since the death of my Mom. Then Sunday was a hard day I was trying to get my home office set up for my new job. That was stressful with 4 young kids in the house just going stir crazy. It then started raining and I tried to make pizza with homemade dough. Usually my homemade dough is the "bomb" I hate to boast but it is really good. This time I don't know what I did but it was not good. I think the yeast was old and it did not rise. Anywhoo as I was trying to knead the dough my dear husband opened up the lower cabinet and a big bottle full of oil fell on my toe. Smashed it blood oozing and swelling of cousrse it was storming outside it's 7pm and urgent care centers close in an hour. We live so far out that a drive would take us an hour and by the time we would get everyone in the car. Anyway, I know there are some out there that totally see where I am going with this. Bottom line is I did not go suffered in pain throughout the night and of course I started my new job today.
    Guess it gets better get a call that my Aunt is dying in the hospital and she refuses to see me because of what happened between my sister's and me during my mother's funeral. Of course she has not heard the complete story and how my sister's lied to everyone. Oh well you know sometimes the best medicine is time and the truth comes out. My sister's unfortnately live a very self destructive lifestyle all of them and nothing will change it did not even with my mother's death.
       So, I am taking a deep breath saying prayers for God to give me strength and understanding what else can I do.

Official Tobymac Lose My Soul Video

I grew up with alot of faith in my family. My family always attended church wether it was the Catholic church or a christian church. It did not matter my mother believed that God should be the center of your life and faith was not based on religious institutional rules but on what your personal relationship with God was. I have read several versions of the Bible and even the Book of Mormons. Not to brag but by the time I was in 6th grade I could sit down with any preacher and have a discussion about the Bible. As I grew up ( okay corny) I stopped reading the bible and just went to church because I felt a personal need. My faith in God ruled my life but my connection to God was not the same. In the past year I have been through alot more than I have written in this blog and most recently with the passing of my Mother. I was all about my career and I struggled with the struggle between being a wife and mother and career. I have most recently started to pray everyday and read the bible not for anyone but me. As I listened to Toby one day and this song in particular it brought to my heart that I at some point in my life lost my soul. I am now on my personal journey to find it.
Have a Great Day

Taking the time to remember

With everything that has gone on in my life in the past 9 months I have decided that I going to take a concerted effort to record the daily or even month occurrances in our kids lives. So, I am starting my own version of project life. I am going to participate in Project 12 in which I chronicle monthly what my family has done. I am so excited and I also put together through my local scrapbook store a 365 day remember calendar to chronicle those little daily moments the kids might have. Keep checking for my progress I am going to starting today chronicle daily events on my blog.

Check out the sample of the calendar the store is Whimsodoodle and the link to their blog is listed.

My Altered Notebook and bookmark

In the hopes of distracting my mind and also to keep track of  my thoughts. I altered this notebook and created a bookmark. I have decided to attempt to read the bible this year. We will see if it actually happens. With crazy kids and two dogs life is never still around my house. My next project keep posted is to scrapbook my life in a month. I want to capture as much of what my kids life is now so that they can remember later. So, here is my altered scrapbook.

Easter was not the same

Well this Easter unlike others it was pretty much low key. It was not the same not having my mother here. I still made two Easter bunny cakes for the kids and the kids and my husband went to church. I could not manage to get out of bed that morning. I had been up most of the night crying. I pretty much keep it together for my kids but if it weren't for them I don't know what kind of mess I would be. So here is my bunny cakes.